Today we will be talking about
\na topic that is often perceived as shameful\u2014about how people should
\nreact to a man who has been the victim of sexual violence.<\/p>\n
This article came about in
\nresponse to a letter from one of our readers in which he told us of
\na tragedy involving a young Roma boy upon his return home from prison.
\nNo one wanted to have anything to do with this boy.\u00a0 And what was
\nthe reason?\u00a0 The sad fact that he had been raped in prison, and,
\nunfortunately, his fellow villagers came to find out about it.
\nAlas, how life conspires\u2014the bad news always outstrips the good news!
\nAs a result of this chain of events, the young man committed suicide.<\/p>\n
With his letter, our reader
\nhas brought up an extremely important and particularly serious subject,
\nand one which is not typically discussed.\u00a0 This issue exists, but
\nat the same time it is as if it doesn\u2019t exist.\u00a0 As such, it is
\ndifficult to gauge the opinions of those who are in positions of power
\nand help to form public opinion.\u00a0 The duty of the authorities is
\nto display official disapproval for this shameful act (the rape) and
\nseverely punish the guilty parties (the rapists), but the way we relate
\nto the victim depends on society.<\/p>\n
Male rape, both of younger
\nand older men, is a problem that often comes about in closed communities\u2014such
\nplaces as pre-trial detention centers, prisons, army barracks, military
\nacademies, and so on.\u00a0 In the \u201cstrange concurrence of circumstances\u201d
\nthat defines these types of places, precautions for guaranteeing the
\nsafety of adult males from the sexual attacks of other inmates, soldiers,
\nofficers, etc. have never been instituted.\u00a0 In fact, such attacks
\nhave historically been encouraged, and even used, by the heads of some
\npre-trail detention centers, prisons, armies, etc.\u00a0 In other closed
\ncommunities, it is not only unusual to talk about the issue, but it
\nis normal to even deny that the problem exists at all.<\/p>\n
In all of these institutions,
\nthe man is disenfranchised, left absolutely unable to rely on any type
\nof protection.\u00a0 He is trapped by the walls of the closed community
\nin which he lives.\u00a0 In the army, these walls are a bit thinner,
\nas you can nevertheless attempt to escape, but fleeing from prison,
\nfor instance, is practically impossible.<\/p>\n
There is a commonly-held opinion
\nthat the victims of male sexual violence are weak people.\u00a0 Of course
\nthis is not always the case.\u00a0 The physically weak can sometimes
\nbuy themselves out of rape with a large sum of money.\u00a0 On the other
\nhand, physically strong, athletic males sometimes stand a comparatively
\ngood chance of being raped, if for no other reason, then just because
\nthe perpetrator wants to break such a person\u2019s will.\u00a0 These men
\nare first beaten half to death and then raped in their semiconscious
\nstate.<\/p>\n
Next, we will discuss the origins
\nof the contemptuous attitude that often exists towards male rape victims.
\nIn fact, these types of attitudes originate in the prison environment.
\nInasmuch as free people relate in a negative manner towards male rape
\nvictims, they, whether or not they intend to, are maintaining the very
\nsame attitudes that exist in the prisons.\u00a0 This means that the
\nvictims come to think of their homes, towns, and streets as one, big
\narea of confinement, as yet another prison.\u00a0 Certainly the readers
\nwill agree that it is truly unfortunate when someone still feels like
\na prisoner even once his sentence is over.<\/p>\n
Indeed, in prisons and other
\nclosed institutions, no one extends a helping hand to male rape victims.
\nIn these places, the rape victim is the lowest of the outcasts, it is
\nas if he is not a human being.\u00a0 No one attempts to help him out,
\nnor does anyone sit at the same table with him.\u00a0 It is as if he
\ndeserved it all, he deserved to be humiliated in such an evil, inhuman
\nway.<\/p>\n
Incidentally, isn\u2019t it paradoxical
\nthat most of the men in these institutions who consider themselves to
\nbe of the Orthodox faith make an exception to their beliefs in how they
\nbehave towards rape victims?\u00a0 Where is their compassion in this
\ncase?<\/p>\n
Our whole country has recently
\nspoken out in a single voice against pedophiles.\u00a0 In the public\u2019s
\nview, people who rape children deserve nothing but death.\u00a0 However,
\nthey behave with much more tolerance towards people who rape women,
\nas long as the victim is not killed.\u00a0 And how do they relate to
\nthe rapists of men?\u00a0 \u201cIt is not our problem.\u00a0 It is the
\nvictim\u2019s problem.\u201d\u00a0 Where does this lead us?\u00a0 To rape
\nanother citizen is categorically forbidden if that citizen is a minor,
\nbut raping others turns out to be acceptable when those raped are adults.<\/p>\n
The laws, of course, forbid
\nthe rape of any citizen, be that citizen young or old, whatever the
\ncolor of his or her skin, and whatever his or her religion. However,
\nwith respect to those systematically raped in prisons, the laws, for
\nwhatever reason, simply do not apply.<\/p>\n
Finishing up our short description
\nof the problems faced by male rape victims, we should understand the
\nfollowing idea.\u00a0 For a civilized human being, the conscious denigration
\nof another person is simply not acceptable.\u00a0 No form of humiliation
\nis in any way acceptable, regardless of age or gender.\u00a0 Sexual
\nrape constitutes the most heinous, the most sinful means of abasing
\na person.\u00a0 Rapists are, therefore, always monsters.\u00a0 The suffering
\nside is always the victim:\u00a0 this is the person who is deserving
\nof love, sympathy, and human support.\u00a0 Moreover, he is in need
\nof a specialist\u2019s help.\u00a0 All sympathy should lie with the victim,
\nand all antipathy, all hatred and contempt, should be directed towards
\nthe rapist.\u00a0 Making fun of the suffering victim and \u201cblack-listing\u201d
\nhim\u2014only a person who sides with rapists, degenerates, and maniacs
\ncould behave in this way.<\/p>\n
We turn now to consider the
\nassistance that can be given by specialists.\u00a0 A person who has
\nundergone such an ordeal as rape will never be able to free himself
\nof the knowledge that this happened to him.\u00a0 Very often, people
\ntry to forget this nightmare as they would a terrible dream.\u00a0 But
\neven if he forgets the event, this is no way means that will be able
\nto entirely free himself of the recollection.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 It lodges
\nitself in the back of his mind and manifests itself in different guises:
\nthough anxiety, depression, heart disease, alcoholism, narcotics, etc.
\nSuch an experience gives rise to a variety of \u201csores,\u201d which every
\npassing day become bigger and bigger, until they eat the soul, and then
\nthe body.\u00a0 These people are in extraordinary need of psychological
\nassistance.\u00a0 Only a professional can help the sufferer to come
\nto terms with his internal anguish, to return back to normal, and once
\nagain begin to consider himself an individual of full worth.\u00a0 The
\nmost important thing is to convince the sufferer that this help is necessary
\nand that he should receive it as soon as possible.<\/p>\n
And first and foremost, we
\nmust provide the victim with constant moral support, convincing him
\nthat for his friends and loved ones, he continues to be the same wanted
\nand loved person he ever was before the tragedy occurred.<\/p>\n
Your psychologist,<\/p>\n
Ilya Berdyshev
\n